Sexual Etiquette

Sexual Etiqutte in Islam

Sexual intercourse and the sexual relationship with a legal spouse are governed by nature, and at the same time is a sunnah of the Prophets and the Ahlul Bayt (as). It has even been referred to as the most pleasurable thing in life. A group of companions and Shī°as of Imām as-Ŝādiq (as) narrate that the Imām asked us: “What is the most pleasurable thing?” We said: “There are many pleasurable things.” Imām said: “The most pleasurable thing is making love with (your) spouses.”1

It is also narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Whether in this world or in the hereafter, one has not, and will not, perceived a pleasure more pleasurable than sexual relations with women, and certainly this is the commentary of the words of Allāh (SwT) in the Qur`an, in Surat Āli-’ Imrān, verse 14 where He states: “To mankind has been made to seem decorous the love of (worldly) desires, including women and children.” He then said: “Indeed, the people of heaven do not take delight in the pleasures of heaven more than Nikah2; neither food nor drink has that much pleasure for them.”3

As with every other aspect of our lives, Islam provides us with all the necessary information for the sexual lives of man and woman. The reason for this is simple; Islam recognizes the innate nature of man, and has ordained sexual relations for pleasure, and not just procreation. Sexual desires cannot, and should not be repressed, but rather regulated for one’s well-being in this world and the hereafter. If these rules are paid attention to and carried out with the intention of the pleasure and closeness of Allāh (SwT) and staying away from the evil of Satan, it is counted among the greatest of virtues.

Importance of Sexual Relations

There are many traditions relaying the importance of sexual relations. It has the station of worship and ŝadaqah, and has been called the sunnah of the Prophet (S).

Imām as-Ŝādiq (as) narrates that the Prophet (S) addressed one of his companions on the day of Friday and asked: “Are you fasting today?” (The companion) replied, “No.” The Prophet (S) asked: “Have you given anything as ŝadaqah today?” (The companion) replied, “No.” The Prophet (S) told him: “Go to your wife and that is your very ŝadaqah to her.”4

In another tradition, Imām as-Ŝādiq (as) narrates that the Prophet (S) said to someone: “Are you fasting today?” He said, “No.” The Prophet (S) asked: “Have you gone to visit a sick person?” He replied, “No.” The Prophet (S) asked: “Have you been to escort a deceased person?” He replied, “No.” The Prophet (S) asked: “Have you given food to a poor person?” Again he gave a negative response. The Prophet (S) told him: “Go to your wife and going to your wife is ŝadaqah (Go to you to her so that you get all the reward for all these acts).”5

Muĥammad bin Khalad narrates from Imām al-Riďā (as): “Three things are from the sunnah of the noble Prophets and the messengers of Allāh, and these are application of perfume, cutting of the hair and engaging in a lot of conjugal relations.”6

Staying away from sexual relations with one’s wife is a result of Satan’s whisperings, and has many negative consequences such as arguments and rancour between husband and wife.

It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): Three ladies went to the Prophet (S) to complain. One of them said: “My husband does not eat meat.” The other said: “My husband does not smell perfurme and does not use perfume,” and the third lady said: “My husband does not come near the ladies (i.e. does not engage in sexual relations).” The Prophet (S) with unhappiness, in the manner that his blessed Aba (cloak) was dragging on the floor, left and went to the mosque and on to the minbar.

He praised Allāh (SwT) and then said: “What has happened, that a group from my followers don’t eat meat, or don’t apply perfume, or don’t go to their wives? Whilst I eat meat, I apply perfume and also go to my wife. This is my sunnah, and any person that turns away from this sunnah is not from me.”7

Imām as-Ŝādiq (as) has also narrated: The wife of °Uthmān bin Ma°dhūn came to the Prophet (S) and said: “Oh messenger of Allāh (SwT), every day °Uthmān fasts and in the evenings engages in Ŝalāt.” The Prophet (S) picked his sandals and angrily went to °Uthmān (such that he did not wait to put his sandals on) and saw him in the state of Ŝalāt. Because °Uthmān saw the Prophet (S) he abandoned his prayer. The Prophet (S) addressed him and said: “Allāh (SwT) has not sent me to be a recluse, I swear by Allāh (SwT) that has instigated me to this pure, orthodox and easy religion, I fast, I pray and I go to my wife, and any one that likes my custom, must be bound by my sunnah and custom, and Nikah8 is from my sunnah.”9

Importance of Satisfying your Wife

Satisfying one’s wife is an important issue in Islam, as demonstrated by the traditions below; indeed, lack of satisfaction over a long period of time can lead to frigidity and dislike towards the husband.

It is narrated from Imām °Alī (as): “When any of you wants to sleep with his wife, he must not rush her for indeed women have needs (too).”10

It is important for the husband to be aware that a woman’s sexual desire takes longer to express itself, but once it is elicited, is very strong, whereas a man is quickly aroused and also can quickly be satisfied.

Lastly, it is interesting to note that the importance placed by Islam on the satisfaction of both man and woman, is a clear indicator of the justice and fairness of Allāh (SwT). Indeed, it is repeatedly stated in the Noble Qur`an that man and woman were created from a single soul11, and this is just one example of this.

Recommended Acts

There are no specific rules for sexual intercourse; whatever is mutually pleasing is right, and likewise, whatever is mutually displeasing should be avoided; the only exception to this rule is what the Sharī°ah clearly forbids. However, there are several recommended acts that, if followed, will inevitably lead to a more pleasurable experience.

Before Intercourse

1. Brush your teeth and chew pleasant-smelling things in order to remove any smells in the mouth. Likewise, try not to eat unpleasant smelling foods prior to intercourse either, such as onions and garlic.

2. Ensure you smell pleasant – the freshest smell is the one after a shower or a quick wash, and the worst smell is that of sweat! Women in particular are sensitive to smell.

Use of perfumes, oils and the like are recommended, although it is important to note that it is better to use natural substances that have been recommended in Islam as they lack chemical ingredients that may cause damage to the body.

In particular, kohl has been recommended for women. It is narrated from Imām al-Bāqir (as): “To put collyrium (kohl) round the eyes gives the mouth a good smell, and makes the eye lashes strong and increases the power of sexual intercourse.”12

It is also narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “To put collyrium (kohl) in the evenings is beneficial to the eyes and during the day it is Sunnah.”13
NOTE: Althought the traditions recommend the usage of kohl, they do not condone its usage in places where it can be seen by men and can be a source of attraction.

Foreplay
Importance of Foreplay

As highlighted earlier, satisfying one’s wife is very important and engaging in sexual intercourse quickly and hastily is not the correct way. There is an average difference of eight minutes between the time a man and a woman reach climax; a man usually takes two minutes to reach climax and a woman takes ten minutes to reach climax. Therefore, in order to fully satisfy his wife, a man should caress her and engage in foreplay so that both partners reach climax at the same time.

Islam greatly stresses the importance of foreplay, as indicated by the traditions below.
It is narrated from the Prophet (S): “Do not engage in sexual intercourse with your wife like hens; rather, firstly engage in foreplay with your wife and flirt with her and then make love to her.”14

It is also narrated from the Prophet (S): “All play and games are futile except for three: Horse riding, archery and foreplay with your wife, and these three are correct.”15

It is narrated from Imām °Alī (as): “Whoever wants to get close to his wife must not be hasty, because women before engaging in the act of love making must be engaged in foreplay so that they are ready for making love to.”16

It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “The Angels of Allāh and those who are witnesses over all the actions of man are watching them in every state except at the time of horse riding competitions and the time that a man engages in foreplay with his wife before engaging in sexual intercourse.”17

Method of Foreplay

There are very few restrictions to the methods used in foreplay; kissing, cuddling, etc. are all allowed. Below are some tradition pertaining to specific methods:

a. Caressing the breasts

It is narrated from Imām al-Riďā (as): “Do not engage in sexual intercourse unless you engage in foreplay, and play with her a lot and caress her breasts, and if you do this she will be overcome by passion (and excited to the full pitch) and her water will collect. This is so that the emission of the watery juices shoots off from the breasts and passion becomes evident from her face and her eyes and that she desires you in the same way you desire her.”18

b. Oral sex

Imām al-Kādhim (as) was asked: “Is there a problem if a person kisses the private part of his wife?” The Imām responded: “There is no problem.” 19

NOTE: Though masturbation (i.e., self-stimulation of one’s own sexual organ until emission of semen or orgasm) is not allowed, in the case of married persons there is no problem if the wife stimulates her husband’s penis until the emission of semen, or the husband stimulates his wife’s vagina until orgasm. This is allowed because it does not come under “self-stimulation”; it is stimulation by a lawful partner.

c. Other

It was asked of Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “If someone undresses his wife (and makes her naked) and looks at her, is there a problem?” He replied: “There is no problem, is there any better pleasure than this that exists?” Again a question was asked: “Is there any problem if a husband plays with the private part of his wife?” The Imām replied: “There is no problem, provided that he doesn’t use anything other than his own body parts (i.e. nothing external).” Again it was asked: “Is there a problem performing sexual intercourse in water?” Imām replied: “There is no problem.”20

NOTE: The above tradition highlights the restriction of use of foreign objects

After Intercourse

1. It is mustaĥab that Ghusl al-Janābat should be performed soon after sexual intercourse, and the sooner it is performed the better. Also, if one would like to have sexual intercourse more than once in one night, it is better that after every time, they perform Ghusl. However, if this is not feasible, it is recommended that one should do Wuďū before every act.21

2. Immediately after completing the act of intercourse, the husband should perform the Ghusl and at that very moment consume a portion of bee wax (reputed to heal all sorts of wounds especially fractures) mixed with honey and water or mixed with pure honey, as this will replace and compensate for the lost fluids.22

3. If a man’s virility strength quickly ceases after intercourse, he should keep himself warm and sleep.23

4. The husband and wife should both use separate towels to clean themselves. It is narrated from the Prophet (S)  that if only one towel is used, this leads to enmity and separation between the two.24
Acts not Recommended

Makrūh [Discouraged] acts

1. Anal intercourse25

Anal intercourse is permissible with the consent of the wife; however, it is a strongly disliked act.
Zaid ibne Shabith narrates that a person asked Imām °Alī (as): “Can you get close to a woman from her behind?” Imām °Alī (as) replied: “Be down with you! Allāh lowers you by this means (of entering a lady). Have you not heard the words of your Lord that is narrated from Lut who said to his community: “What! Do you commit an outrage none in the world ever committed before you?’”26 and 27

There are some who justify this act with the following verse of the Qur`an:

“Your women are a tillage for you, so come to your tillage whenever you like.”28

However, Imām as-Ŝādiq (as), in his tafsir of the above verse of the Noble Qur`an narrates that: “The intention of this verse is that sexual intercourse should be performed from the front, for the reason that the wife in this verse has been compared to tillage (a cultivated land) that gives produce (from the top of the land), which is (just like) the front of the wife because this is from where (children) come into existence and into this world.”29

Abū Baŝīr narrates that he asked Imām (as) what the ruling is of someone who gets close to his wife from the back. The Imām considered this act unacceptable and said: “Stay away from the back of the wife and the meaning of the Noble verse of Surat al-Baqarah (above) is not that you can enter the wife from wherever you want, but rather (it is that you should) perform sexual intercourse, and therefore the meaning of the verse is that get close to your wife at whatever time that you want to.”30

2. Having Qur`an or the Dhikr of Allāh (SwT) on you

It is narrated from °Alī, the son of Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): I asked my brother Imām Kādhim (as): “Can a man have sexual intercourse and go to the bathroom when he has with him a ring on his hand with the dhikr of Allāh (SwT) or a verse of the Qur`an written on it?” Imām replied: “No (it is Makrūh).”31

3. Making love standing

It is narrated from the Prophet (S): “The husband and wife must not engage in intercourse like two donkeys clinging together, because if it is like this then the Angels of mercy will go far from them and the mercy of Allāh will be taken away from them.”32

4. Making love bare (without a covering)

It is narrated that Muĥammad bin al-Ais asked Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Is it permissible to go near my wife naked (i.e. make love naked)?” Imām replied: “No, don’t do such a thing…”33

5. Engaging in sexual intercourse under the sky

It is narrated from the Prophet (S): “Allāh dislikes 24 qualities for you, Oh men, and has prohibited you from them; one of these qualities is sexual intercourse under the sky.”34

6. Engaging in sexual intercourse when others are present (and can hear and/or see) in the house

It is narrated from Imām al-Bāqir (as): “It is Makrūh that a man engages in sexual intercourse with his wife if, as well as them, there is someone else in the house.”35

It is narrated from the Prophet (S): “Obtain three qualities from crows: sexual intercourse secretly, going after sustenance at the beginning of the morning and intelligence and alertness against probable dangers.”36

7. Engaging in sexual intercourse in the presence of a child

It is narrated from Imām °Alī (as): “The Prophet (S) has prohibited that a man goes near his wife (for intercourse) and a child in the crib can see them.”37

It is narrated from Imām al-Bāqir (as): “Stay away from sexual intercourse in a place where there may be a child who is able to see.”38

It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Stay away from going to bed (for sexual intercourse) with your wife when a child can see you, as the Prophet strongly knew this act as Makrūh and very indecent.”39

8. Engaging in sexual intercourse on a boat, on the beach40 or on the road

It is narrated in traditions that sexual intercourse on a boat or on the road results in the curses of Allāh (SwT) and the angels being upon you.41

It is narrated in another tradition from Sakūnī that Imām °Alī (as) passed two animals who were engaged in intercourse at a place of traffic (passage). Imām turned away from them. It was asked: “Oh Amir al-Mu’minin, why did you turn away?” The Imām (as) replied: “It is not right that you come close to each other in the path of people like these animal; such an act is prohibited and it must take place where neither man nor woman can see.”42

9. Facing, or having one’s back to, the Qiblah

The Prophet (S) has prohibited sexual intercourse while facing Qiblah, or having one’s back to Qiblah, and has said that if such an act is done, it results in the curses of Allāh (SwT), the angels and all of humanity being on you.43

NOTE: If when you sit up from a lying position, your face is towards Qiblah, this is known as facing the Qiblah, and vice versa.

10. Refusing to have sexual intercourse (for various reasons)

It is narrated from Imām al-Bāqir (as): The Prophet (S) said to women: “Do not prolong your Ŝalāt such that it becomes an excusefor not going to bed (for sexual intercourse) with your husbands.”44
Recommended Times

Obligatory times

1. When there is fear of ĥarām [forbidden]

If one has a fear that he might succumb to his sexual desires and the whisperings of Satan and indulge in ĥarām acts, it is obligatory that they protect themselves from this.45 If one is single, they must get married and thus stay away from any potentially forbidden acts.

It is narrated from Ayatullāh Khomeini (ra): “It is obligatory that one who, because of not having a wife will fall into ĥarām, get married.”46

2. Once every four months47

One must have sexual intercourse with his youthful wife at least once in 4 months. This is one of the conjugal rights of the wife and the obligation stays in force unless it either is harmful to him, involves unusually more effort, the wife waives her right or such a prior stipulation was made at the time of nikah by the husband. It makes no difference whether the husband is away on a journey or present.

Safwān bin Yahyā asked Imām al-Riďā (as): “A man has a young wife and hasn’t come close to her for months, even a year. It is not because he wants to trouble her (by staying away), but rather a calamity has befallen them. Is this counted as a sin?” Imām replied: “If he leaves her for four months, it is counted as a sin.”48

Mustaĥab (Recommended) times

Sexual intercourse, if engaged in a permissible manner, is always mustaĥab. However, there are certain times when it is more recommended:

1. When a women desires it from her husband.49

2. When one is attracted to another woman.

It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Any person that sees a woman and is attracted to her must go to his wife and engage in sexual intercourse with her, because that which the other woman has, the wife also has, and one must not give Satan a way into one’s heart. And if one does not have a wife, he must pray a two Rak°at Ŝalāt, praise Allāh a lot, recite Ŝalawāt on the Prophet and his Ahlul Bayt, and request Allāh to grant him a believing and religious wife and that He makes him needless from the forbidden.”50
Times not Recommended

Harām (Forbidden) times

1. During menstruation (ĥaydh)51:
Allāh (SwT) states in Surat Baqarah, Verse 222:

     وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْمَحِيضِ قُلْ هُوَ أَذىً فَاعْتَزِلُوا النِّسَآءَ فِي الْمَحِيضِ وَلاَ تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّى يَطْهُرْنَ 

“They ask you concerning (intercourse during) menses. Say, “It is hurtful.” So keep away from wives during the menses, and do not approach them till they are clean.”

If a person who is engaged in sexual intercourse with his wife discovers that her period has begun, then he should immediately withdraw from her.

During the period of ĥaydh, other acts besides sexual intercourse can be performed, as indicated by tradition below:

Mu°āwiyah bin °Umar narrates that he asked Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “What is permissible for a man when a woman is in the state of ĥaydh?” The Imām replied: “Other than the private parts (i.e. the rest of the body except for her private parts).”52

Imrān bin Qanzalī narrates that he asked Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “How can a man benefit from a lady that is in the state of ĥaydh?” The Imām replied:”The two thighs (of the lady).”53

However, although the rest of the body of the woman (apart from the private parts) are permitted for the husband, the area from the navel to the knees is Makrūh (not recommended)54; therefore, it is more advisable that the husband avoid these parts as well.

It is important to note that it is not recommended to engage in sexual intercourse after the end of ĥaydh and before the Ghusl of ĥaydh. However, if it is necessary, a woman should wash herself first.55 Allāh (SwT) mentions this in the continuation of the above verse:

     فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللٌّهُ 

“And when they become clean, go into them as Allāh has commanded you.”

2. During Nifās.56

3. During fasting in the month of Ramaďān.57

4. During the state of Iĥrām and before reciting Ŝalāt of Ťawaf al-Nisā.58

5. When it may cause serious harm to either husband or wife. Sexual intercourse is permissible if it does not cause serious harm.59
Makrūh (Undesirable) times

1. In the state of Iĥtilām

It is narrated from the Prophet (S): “It is Makrūh that a man who has become muĥtalim (i.e. become in the state of janābat during his sleep), goes to his wife (to perform intercourse) in this state, unless he does Ghusl for his iĥtilām.”60

2. When travelling and there is a possibility of lack of water

It is narrated from Ishāq bin °Ammār: I asked Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “A man is accompanied by his wife whilst travelling, but he has not obtained any water to perform Ghusl. Can he go to bed with his wife?” Imām replied: “I don’t like it if he does that and it is Makrūh, unless he is scared that if he doesn’t get close to what his permissible for him, he will fall into the forbidden.”61

It is narrated from Imām al-Kādhim (as): “I don’t like it when a person travelling who doesn’t have water engages in sexual intercourse, unless he has fear of harm.”62

(In such cases, as per the fiqh rules, one is able to do tayammum instead of Ghusl in order to pray)

3. The night of a lunar eclipse and day of a solar eclipse

One evening the Prophet (S) was next to one of his wives and on that evening an eclipse occurred, and nothing occurred between them. The wife of the Prophet (S) said: “Were you unhappy with me the whole evening?” The Prophet (S) replied: “What are you saying, this evening was the eve of a lunar eclipse and I know it to be Makrūh that I should get pleasure on this evening, because Allāh (SwT) reproaches a group that become heedless and inattentive to His proofs and signs, and He has described them in the following way: “Were they to see a fragment falling from the sky, they would say, “A cumulous cloud.”“63 and 64

4. Between the Subĥ as-Ŝādiq (Adhān of Salāt al-Fajr) and sunrise and between sunset until the redness of the sky has gone.

It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Becoming junub during redness of the sun rising and the redness of the sunset is Makrūh.”65

5. At the time of an earthquake (and other events necessitating Ŝalāt al-Ayāt)

It is narrated from Imām al-Bāqir (as): “One who doesn’t leave play and pleasure at the time when the signs of Allāh (SwT) are apparent is from those people who have taken the signs of Allāh (SwT) to be a mockery.”66
Healthy Body

A healthy body allows for a healthy sex life. Several acts have been recommended in Islam and if these instructions are acted upon, they will result in a healthy and fresh body.
Recommended acts67

1. Travelling.
2. Fasting.
3. Eating 21 red raisins on an empty stomach.
4. Drinking rain water68.
5. Praying Ŝalāt al-Layl.
6. Washing the hands before and after eating.
7. Discharging at the time of needing the toilet.
8. Washing the feet with cold water after having a bath.
9. Protecting the body from the cold in the autumn season but not protecting it from the cold in the spring season (i.e. wearing heavy clothing in autumn and light clothing in spring).
10. Getting a suitable amount of rest.
11. Eating aniseed and dates.
12. Chewing your food well.
13. Eating food only when hungry and refraining from eating when you are full.
14. Eating a moderate amount and therefore, drinking a moderate amount.

Use of massage oils69

In particular, massaging oil is very beneficial for a healthy body as well as sexual desire, so much so that the Imāms (as) have narrated traditions on this:

It is narrated from Imām °Alī (as): “To anoint the body with massage oil softens the skin, improves the mood, makes the flowing of water and fluids in the body easy, eliminates roughness, ruggedness, bad health and tightness of earning and brings light to the face.”70

It is narrated from Imām al-Bāqir (as): “To anoint the body with massage oil in the evening is the cause of circulation in the blood vessels and (this) revitalises the skin complexion and enlightens the face.”
It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “At least, once a month, or once or twice a week, apply oil to your body. However, if ladies are able to, they must try and apply oil to their body every day.”

The following oils have been recommended

1. Violet Oil

It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Violet oil is oil of goodness: massage it on your body so that it eliminates head and eye aches.”

A man fell on the ground from his camel, and when water started coming out from his nose, Imām as-Ŝādiq (as)  said to him: “Pour violet oil on it.” When the man did this, he was cured and became well. After that the Imām related: “Violet oil in winter is warm and in the summer it is cool71…if the people understood the benefits of this oil, they would drink a lot of it; this oil gets rid of pains and heals the nose.”

2. Willow (Catkin) Oil

A man came to Imām as-Ŝādiq (as) and complained about cracked hands and legs. Imām told him: “Get some cotton, soak it with willow oil and put it on the centre (of the crack), or put the oil straight onto the centre (of the crack).” When the person performed this act, the pain disappeared.

3. Lily Oil

It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Lily oil has cures for 70 aches, and it is better if it is white lily, which is also known as Arabian Jasmine.”

4. Olive Oil

If olive oil is mixed with honey and drunk instead of water for three days, it increases the sexual strength. If olive oil is rubbed in hair, it prevents it from falling or going white.

It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Eating olive oil increases the sperm and sexual capability.”72

It is narrated from the Prophet (S): “Definitely eat olive oil because this medicine cures bile, does away with phlegm, strengthens nerves, heals pains, makes the akhlāq good, makes the mouth good-smelling and takes away a person’s grief.”73

It is also narrated from the Prophet (S): “Eat olive oil and rub it on the body, as it is from a blessed tree.”74

It is also narrated from the Prophet (S): “Any person who drinks olive oil and massages it on the body, Satan will not come near him for 40 mornings.”

5. Others

A man and a woman who would like to increase their level of sexual activity, but do not know what they must do, and likewise people that would like to derive more sexual pleasure, should use massage oils like Arabian Jasmin oil, coconut oil, violet oil and olive oil.75

Things that causes harm to the body with respect to sexual intercourse

1. Sexual intercourse at the beginning of the night, whether in summer or winter, causes harm to the body because the stomach and blood vessels are usually full at this time. Intercourse can lead to colic, paralysis (of the face), gout, stones and distillation of urine, hernia and weakness of eyes.76
Therefore, engaging in sexual intercourse at the end of the evening is more recommended for the maintenance of a healthy body, as it is more likely that one will not have a full stomach.

2. Likewise, sexual intercourse at any time with a full stomach is harmful. It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Three things damage the body of a person and these include: going to have a bath with a full stomach, engaging in sexual intercourse with your spouse with a full stomach, and engaging in intercourse with old women, decrepit and advanced in age.”77

3. Repetitive prevention of ejaculation can also lead to difficulties for men, as well as for women.78
Strengthening and Weakening Sexual Desire

Things that increase sexual desire79

1. Carrots
2. Onions
3. Meat
4. Eggs
5. Melon
6. Fresh pomegranate
7. Fresh milk
8. Sweet grapes
9. Wheat oil
10. Extract of the centre of a date.
11. Wearing of yellow shoes.
12. Applying massage oil to the body.
13. Applying collyrium (kohl) to the eyes.

Things that renew and charge sexual desire80

1. Honey
2. Walnuts
3. Dates
4. Bananas
Things that reduce sexual desire81
1. Taking a bath with cold water.
2. Not eating dinner.

It is narrated from Imām al-Kādhim (as): “If people are modest when eating their food (i.e. don’t over-eat or under-eat), their bodies will always stay healthy; and never leave out dinner even if it means eating torn bits of dry bread because it is a cause of strength of the body and strength of sexual intercourse.”82

    1.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 20, pg. 23, no. 24927
    2.
    Nikah literally means sexual intercourse.
    3.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 20, pg. 23, no. 24929
    4.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 109, no. 25163
    5.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 109, no. 25163
    6.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 241, no. 25537
    7.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 107, no. 25158
    8.
    Nikah literally means sexual intercourse.
    9.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 20, pg. 106, no. 25157
    10.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 118, no. 25184
    11.
    Sūrat al-Nisā, Verse 1; Sūrat al-Zumar, Verse 5, Sūrat Luqmān, Verse 28; Sūrat Naĥl, Verse 72
    12.
    °alliyatul Muttaqīn, pg. 91
    13.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 38
    14.
    °alliyatul Muttaqīn, pg. 110
    15.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 20, pg. 118, no. 25186
    16.
    °alliyatul Muttaqīn, pg. 115
    17.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 188, no. 25185
    18.
    Mustadrak al-Wasāil, vol. 2, pg. 545
    19.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 55
    20.
    °alliyatul Muttaqīn, pg. 111
    21.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 52
    22.
    Tib wa Behdāsht, pg. 300
    23.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 24
    24.
    °alliyatul Muttaqīn, pg. 112
    25.
    Confirmed with the office of Ayatullāh Sīstānī, Qom.
    26.
    Sūrat al-A~rāf, Verse 80
    27.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 20, pg. 144, no. 25258
    28.
    Sūrat al-Baqarah, Verse 223
    29.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 20, pg. 134, no. 25253
    30.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 147, no. 25266
    31.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 148, no. 25271
    32.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 120, no. 25190
    33.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 137, no. 25238; pg. 138, no. 25239
    34.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 61
    35.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 12, pg. 380, no. 16565
    36.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 133, no. 25227
    37.
    Ibid., vol. 12, pg. 382, no. 16568
    38.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 134, no. 25229
    39.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 132, no. 25222
    40.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 137, no. 25238; pg. 138, no. 25239
    41.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 138, no. 25240
    42.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 133, no. 25226
    43.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 138, no. 25240
    44.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 164, no. 25317
    45.
    Confirmed with the office of Ayatullāh Sīstānī, Qom
    46.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 71
    47.
    Islamic Laws, Rule 2427
    48.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 21, pg. 458, no. 27573
    49.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 71
    50.
    Ibid., pg. 48-49
    51.
    Islamic Laws, Rule 456
    52.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 2, pg. 321, no. 2249
    53.
    Ibid., vol. 2, pg. 322, no. 2254
    54.
    °alliyatul Muttaqīn, pg. 109
    55.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 72
    56.
    Islamic Laws, Rule 520
    57.
    Islamic Laws, Rule 1593
    58.
    °ajj Manāsek, Rule 219
    59.
    Confirmed with the office of Ayatullāh Sīstānī, Qom
    60.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 20, pg. 257, no. 25570
    61.
    Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 109, no. 25164
    62.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 54
    63.
    Sūrat at-±ūr, Verse 44
    64.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 20, pg. 126, no. 25207
    65.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 59
    66.
    Wasāil ash-Shī~a, vol. 12, pg. 177, no. 16008
    67.
    Mostly derived from, Gonjhāye Ma~navī, pg. 318
    68.
    This is only recommended in areas where one is sure the rain water is not polluted.
    69.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 24-25
    70.
    °alliyatul Muttaqīn, pg. 172
    71.
    This refers to the effect of violet oil on one’s constitution/internal heat.
    72.
    al-Kāfī, vol. 6, pg. 332
    73.
    Makārim al-Akhlāq, pg. 190
    74.
    Biĥār al-Anwār, vol. 66, pg. 182, no. 14
    75.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 22
    76.
    Tib wa Behdāsht, pg. 292
    77.
    Mustadrak al-Wasāil, vol. 14, pg. 231, no. 16578
    78.
    Izdawāj Maktab Insān Sāzi, vol. 3, pg. 51
    79.
    Gonjhāye Ma~navī, pg. 318
    80.
    Tib wa Behdāsht, pg. 300
    81.
    Niyāzhā wa Rawābith Jinsī was Zanāshuī, pg. 28
    82.
    Ibid., pg. 43