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Attributes of The Real Follower of Imams in Their Teachings
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Mahdism
In the Name of Allah
I express my greeting to you, the youngsters, seeking the right. I hope that you are well.
This is a website on the basis of which principles of pure Islam are presented.
I can answer your questions regarding Islam religion and Shiite sect. Islam religion means Shiite. Good Luck
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چرا زنها به خواستگاری مردها نمیتوانند بروند؟
پرسش:
چرا زنها به خواستگاری مردها نمیتوانند بروند؟
پاسخ :
با سلام و عرض ادب و احترام
در مورد نحوه خواستگاري و رفتن پسر يا دختر، اسلام هيچ گونه دستور خاصي ندارد و مانند بسياري از امور ديگر به خود مردم واگذار شده است.
استاد مطهري مینویسدد: "اين كه از قديم الايام مردان به عنوان خواستگاري نزد زنان میرفته اند و از آنها تقاضاي همسري میكرده اند، از بزرگ ترين عوامل حفظ حيثيت و احترام زن بوده است.
طبيعت، مرد را مظهر طلب و عشق و تقاضا آفريده است و زن را مظهر مطلوب بودن و معشوق بودن. طبيعت زن را گُل، و مرد را بلبل، زن را شمع و مرد را پروانه قرار داده است. اين يكي از تدابير حكيمانه و شاهكارهاي خلقت است كه در غريزة مرد نياز و طلب و در غريزه زن ناز و جلوه قرار داده است. خلاف حيثيت و احترام زن است كه به دنبال مرد بدود. براي مرد قابل تحمّل است كه از زني خواستگاري كند و جواب رد بشنود و آن گاه از زن ديگري خواستگاري كند و جواب رد بشنود تا بالاخره زني رضايت خود را به همسري با او اعلام كند اما براي زن كه ميخواهد محبوب و معشوق و مورد توجه و علاقه باشد و از قلب مرد سر در آورد تا بر سراسر وجود او حكومت كند، قابل تحمل و موافق غريزه نيست كه مردي را به همسري خود دعوت كند و احياناً جواب رد بشنود و سراغ مرد ديگري رود".(1)
خواستگاري هميشه از ناحيه جنس مذكر انجام ميشود. اين قاعده حتي در مورد حيوانات نيز جاري است. يعني در خواست از جنس مخالف غالباً از ناحيه مذكر آغاز ميشود.
دين مقدس اسلام نيز كه آيين فطرت است، بر اين رويه فطري و طبيعي صحه نهاده و بر اين مبنا و اساس است كه در قرآن و سنّت در امر ازدواج، مردان مخاطب واقع گشته اند و مستقيماً به آنان دستور ازدواج و همسر گزيني داده شده و فرموده است: "فانكحوا ما طاب لكم من النّساء؛ بازنان طيب و پاكيزه ازدواج كنيد".(2)
اين آيه به معناي نهي از خواستگاري زن از مرد نيست، از اين رو در صدر اسلام تقاضاي زن از مرد نيز اتفاق افتاده است. امام باقر(ع) نقل ميكند: زني نزد پيامبر(ص) آمد و عرض كرد: مرا به عقد كسي در آور. حضرت رو به حضار نمود و فرمود: كسي حاضر است با اين زن ازدواج كند؟ مردي از ميان جمع برخاست و عرض كرد: من حاضرم، حضرت فرمود: چه داري كه به او بدهي؟ گفت: چيزي ندارم. پيامبر(ص) فرمود: نمي شود. زن خواسته خود را تكرار كرد. ديگر بار حضرت فرمايش خويش را تكرار نمود، باز همان مرد برخاست. سرانجام پيامبر به آن مرد فرمود: از قرآن چيزي میداني؟ گفت: بلي. فرمود: زن را به عقد ازدواج تو در آوردم، در عوض قرآني كه به او آموزش میدهي، مهريه او خواهد بود.(3) از اين جريان بر میآيد كه خواستگار زن از مرد از نظر اسلام ممنوع و مذموم نيست ولي حركت بر خلاف عرف و سيره مسلمانان و قواعد مورد قبول جامعه و مقتضاي فطرت و طبيعت است.
پينوشتها:
1.استاد مطهري، نظام حقوق زن در اسلام، ص15.
2.نساء(4) آيه 3.
3.وسائل الشيعه، ج14، ص195.
Ashura
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